Agyrophobia

• God damn I hate riding the city buses here. I'm certain that the bus drivers in Seoul are the people that never passed the taxi driver's exam. They're the rejects of an already-bad driving school.
  
  
• Pumping the brakes, yeah, I know it works in certain situations. I really don't think the reverse logic translates to the accelerator.
  
  
• You can simply never let go on the bus. You'll be prone in no time. I caught a young heel-wearing girl (big surprise there) yesterday. Still have a D&G imprint on my chest from her purse. I pray it's not a knockoff, I really don't need a lead infection this week.
  
  
• The driving is jerky, all turns are ninety degrees (throws the wheel and reaches for the handbrake, I'm sure) and the gas pedal is like a counting horse. One stomp for slow, two for mid-speed, three stomps for fast. Driver grins like a fucking horse, too.
  
  
• If you ever wonder where all these people with dirt or gravel on their lips come from, I bet they just got off a long bus ride.
  
  
• Korean car enthusiasts don't understand the 0 to 60 metric for car performance. All Korean cars do that. Instantly.
  
  
• Lastly, I've figured out my three-point stance for safe bus riding. Two feet planted firmly on the ground, shoulder-width apart, and one hand raised just above the crowd; flipping off the driver.